It's Time to Revise

Professor Fornes asked the class to create an assignment that will give the teacher knowledge of how the class sits as a whole on writing. I wanted my class to do something easy that did not require to much research but introduce them to the internet and how to use it effectively. The assignment requires the students to develop a memoir. Try to remember a memorable moment in their lives and tell about, then answer the question "Is it important to document past events, why or why not?" This assignment gave the the students an opportunity to reflect on their past and be able to tell about it.
Once they have done this, they will turn the assignment into me for revision, which will be given back to them to look over and turn in again for a final draft. As I was looking back over my assignment I noticed that I had a few erros myself. The below paragraph is an excerpt from my paper:
BEFORE:It is the start of school and it is time to get back into the groove of writing. As a future English teacher, my students will be required to turn in several assignments over the course of the semester. One assignment in particular is a memoir. This assignment will give the students time to reflect on their pass. Giving numerous students exact times when certain parts of the assignment are due, allows the students to gain time management while developing their thoughts for the paper. Many teachers feel that issuing writing assignments will not access students’ writing, while others feel that writing is an essential part of a student’s progress and is an important element for learning the correct way to writing.
AFTER: It is the start of school and it is time to get back into the groove of writing. As a future English teacher, my students will be required to turn in several assignments over the course of the semester. One assignment in particular is a memoir. This assignment will give the students time to reflect on their pass. Giving students exact times when certain parts of the assignment are due, allows the students to gain time management while developing their thoughts for the paper. Many teachers feel that issuing writing assignments will not assess students’ writing, while others feel that writing is an essential part of a student’s progress and is an important element for learning the correct way to writing. It will reinforce writing and also reduce the acts of plagiarism.
So tell me what you think, which sounds better??